My granddad died last night. I made my peace with it months ago, knowing that he had little time left, so I'm just relieved he's finally gone. Being bed-ridden, unable to hear and see anything was no life. He went peacefully, with my nan and my auntie by his side and I am SO proud of my nan and the way she looked after him. There's no way he would have lasted this long without her.

The carers were there and got panicked when his breathing started to change. They wanted to call an ambulance, but my nan wasn't having any of it and in her own words "I didn't look after him at home for eleven months for him to die in hospital".

It's come full circle - they met when my nan was a nurse and my granddad had TB. He was her patient at the start and end of their relationship. There's something oddly special about that, I think.

On returning home from work today, I had 5 different campaign leaflets waiting for me. One was from the BNP.

I am now sat here ripping it into tiny little pieces, which I'm putting in an unstamped envelope addressed to their head office. I will post this on my way to work tomorrow and cackle in the knowledge that the postage they will have to pay will come directly out of their next leafleting campaign budget.

I also googled 'immigration', then looked through the sponsored links on the right hand side until I found the BNP link on page 3. I'm sat here clicking it repeatedly, as it costs them money per click. I figure I can get in a solid half hour a day of clicking. If they ever go bankrupt, I'd like to think I helped.

...on Tony, for his birthday, which is the 5th of May.

Does anyone in the Liverpool area have a Rock Band 2, Playstation 3 box that I can borrow? The box the instruments come in. It needs to look brand new. I will return it to you unharmed after his birthday.

If anyone does, I will love you forever and ever, with extra leg humps thrown in at Christmas.

... again. The last time I did this, I think I was 20. I didn't learn from the experience, obviously. I'm going back to dark-brown later.

Right, there's sun outside, I have new gardening equipment in the form of a strimmer and a spade and there's digging to be done. So much for restful Sundays.

I received a Lush parcel this morning, which consisted of two boxes taped together. Both had exactly the same things in them, but one used popcorn as the packing material and the other had these bizarre giant squashy Wotsit things.

I've not ordered anything from them. There was no paperwork in the box and I've had no e-mails from them. I am confused.

Just had an ultrasound at the Women's this morning. The sonographer wasn't exactly forthcoming and I had to pry information out of her. I don't look polycystic but she said sometimes the scan can look ok but the blood results can be abnormal. I'm still waiting for my blood results. I asked if she could tell whereabouts I am in my cycle and got told my womb lining looks 'thick', so I asked whether it was abnormally thick and she didn't answer and asked if I've ever had fibroids.

So, now I'm obviously thinking I could have a fibroid. *headdesk* Ah well, I shall wait for my doctor's appointment to discuss all the results.

ETA: Mystery solved, I've complained about Lush using popcorn as packing material in the past and I've been selected to give feedback on the two parcels. Apparently my parcel got to me superfast, before the e-mail explaining it was sent!

... with the Co-Op. I applied for their Cashminder account before Christmas, turned up at the branch for them to take photocopies of my ID and they didn't send them off. Or they got lost in the post. Whatever. I applied again, but Tony tidied the letter away somewhere so I never even got to the stage of showing my ID.

I've just applied again now over the phone. I've also applied for the Natwest Step account online and one of their savings accounts as well. I'm determined to get myself a basic bank account, with a spare account that can be used for bills. There's no way I'm getting a joint account with Tony as we need to keep him separate from me so he maintains a good credit rating, but a savings/bill account would be used by both of us anyway as I'd just keep the card for it in the house. It's a pain now paying for everything in cash and although it's been good for us for far, it's more difficult now I'm back working full-time and can't just pop into the shop to pay things.

My financial mission for this year isn't to pay off debts, but instead, for us to build up at least £1500 of savings that are only to be used for emergencies. I know all the guidance out there says it's pointless to have savings when you have debt, but none of my debt is accruing interest. Once we've got money to fall back on, we can start looking at saving for other things, like a car.

It's rubbish being grown-up sometimes and dealing with money. It's that time of year (new tax year) where I get loads of random texts from people asking 'is this right?' Just to save myself some time, you should all be on tax code 647L from this month with no x's or anything after it. If you're not, ring your tax office because I can't help you. Nyeh. :-P

I just made a complete fool of myself in the middle of town. Go me! I decided to buy furniture, on a whim (which is the only way I've ever bought furniture in my life), which took the form of a small bookcase from Argos for less than £20. The assistant looked at me blankly when I asked her to twist some plastic bags, tape them together, and wrap them around the box as a handle, so I just gave up and decided to drag it about 50 metres to the taxi rank, whilst cursing the brainless assistant. If a major news-story ever breaks and it turns out that the majority of retail workers are specially grown, brain-damaged clones, I won't be in the least bit surprised.

Only, I couldn't drag the bookcase. When I got it outside the shop, I lost my grip on it. I tried to hoist it up the wall and pry it away a bit so I could get a grip, but it wasn't happening. It just kept turning over and over against the wall. I got my knee in there as well, which resulted in an impromptu game of' keepie-uppie', only with a bookcase instead of a football. I had too many other bags with me to just pick it up and carry it. It just kept sliding down the wall.

I was rescued by a man who grabbed it off me and asked me where I was going. I said to the cab rank and was pathetically grateful, until he told me he was 76 and then I just wanted to die of embarrassment. He didn't look 76 though, and he told me a was 'a packer on the lorries' so I didn't feel that bad in the end, except I'm lying and I do, and I'm mortified that I let a pensioner carry a bookcase for me.

It's half-assembled in the middle of my living room right now. Tony has taken the screwdriver out of the tool-box and not put it back, so I'm waiting for the drill to charge up so I can use the screwdriver attachment on that. I may drill a few other things as well while I'm at it. We're taking Oliver to the vets to be castrated tomorrow, but maybe I can save us a few pounds and do it with the drill. We'll see. Mwahahaha.

I am so tired, but I'm doing that self-sabotaging thing where you go 'Ha! Damn you work, I do not have to be your slave until 9am tomorrow! You shall not make me go to bed for love nor money!'.

Incidentally, for the full effect, this must be said in the same accent that all rubbish drama teachers insist you use to recite Shakespeare.

Tony is taking the laptop away from me now. I'm clinging on with my teeth.

I was putting a load of towels into our washing machine, when Oliver jumped up next to me, whoring himself for attention. I noticed one of his front paws was absolutely massive, at least twice the normal size.

Cue a mini panic from me and a jump for the laptop to find the out-of-hours number for the vet. During this, Oliver was up on my knee purring and trying to club me around the head with his giant freaky paw. He likes to give us hugs and shove his paws in our faces, so he was doing this to me while I was trying to find the number, which made it considerably harder.

The vet said it would cost at least £100 for a consultation out-of-hours, with any treatment costs on top and the surgery is based in Highton which is MILES away and not at the normal vets. Yeah. So, that's not happening. Tony is off on Monday, so he'll have to take him then. It's a pain because he was due to go to the vets this Wednesday anyway, for his last vaccination. I'm hoping that they'll do the vaccination two days early on Monday, otherwise that's two trips we'll have to make and I'm not waiting until Wednesday in case his paw gets infected.

Stupid cat. I've just bought pet insurance now. I know we won't be covered for this as it's pre-existing, unless the vets pretend that Monday is the first they've known about his paw. I doubt they'll do that though. At least he's covered for anything in the future. We'll still have to pay the first £65 of any treatment costs, but that's nothing considering it can cost thousands for vet treatment. *bangs head against wall for not insuring him earlier*

He's asleep next to me now, purring away. I'm going to soak a bandage in hot salt-water and wrap that around it tightly as the vet recommended getting a compress on there. I'll do a manuka honey one later as well, it can only help to stop an infection.

I look different. I had my hair cut the other week, it was way too long and I was a few months growth away from being able to sit on it. Now it's just below my shoulder with a few layers in and it's MUCH nicer and easier to manage. It was a faded red, with a good few inches of blonde roots showing. I shoved a dark brown semi-permanent dye on it yesterday, so now it's very dark all over.

I like having dark hair because I can get away with stronger make-up, like red lipstick, which looks weird on me normally. I also look more like a goth than ever. Ah well, at least my roots aren't showing anymore.

I also got my nose ring changed today, to a little clear diamond stud. That is the main thing that's making me look different, I'd had the ring in constantly for a year and a half. My face is weird without that ring! It's going to take some getting used to, it's very strange that I can't see the nose ring in my field of vision anymore.

Yaz, if you're reading this, my ears are still virgins but once I've given blood again, that will change. I'm going to get one or two of my favourite piercings back, like my rook and possibly my conch.

Tags: appearance
I'm feeling: contemplative